Last night, i wrote a blog about how i feel like i'm falling apart or whatever. But that's because I was being ignant and stupid. How can i be feeling so down when God has blessed me so incredibly? Like, if you really think about it, the extent to which God has blesses us is straight up redikalus. But praise God, righ righ? lol
01.
Ok, so recently, it was my birthday. I expected a birthday party, to be honest, but i really didnt know when to expect it. Sunday night, I'm in my room, stressed about the amount of garbage that has built up in our kitchen, and fruit flies everywhere. Then my roommate andrew suggests that we go downstairs to go play Madden at Jongdae's place. Ok fine, I go down, and then all of a sudden, as I open the door, this is what happens:
Haha, this is my "I'm mad mushissuh" face. Freaking, as soon as I open the door, lights go on and people are screaming at me haha. That was freaking sweet, mad people were there to wish me a happy birthday, and I felt pretty special, not gonna lie lol
02.
The two things I stress the most and find the most joy in serving KCCC is small group leader and body worship leader. And my birthday rested on a monday, which is when I have small group. My entire mentality was *sigh*, i have to prepare for small group on my birthday- so i neglected to do cru.comm prepartion. Instead I ended up just preparing some discussion topics, and then prepared a spiel of my experience at Vision. When 9:30 pm rolled around, my kids arrived, and as I came out to the livingroom to start small group, there was all my little shekkis, sitting there with a ice cream cake and card. :D I was like, Daaang son. God is so good. <<<<<<<
03.
THEN on Tuesday night, we had body worship practice from 6 to 9 to perform at a interfellowship night. I have a lot of joy in leading bodyworship- my group is reallly good and cooperative, and I feel mad blessed to have them. But at the same time i was still burdened, with other thoughts distracting me, and the stress of my academic difficulties. I really tried to keep the joy in serving, but I was still struggling. I didnt even do my qt for awhile. But right before we started practice, some of the members of my small group presented me with a card and birthday present. :D again, i was like, Daaang son, God is sooo good.<<<<<<<<<<<<<
I'v only been small group leader since mid semptember, and I'v only had my small group since mid september, but still I guess i'v developed a relationship with my small group and body worship members; two fields of serving that I was really anxious about in the beginning of the year. But now I see that trust in God is all I really need. My small group doesnt like me because I'm such a cool guy; my body worship team doesnt like me because I'm so good at dancing. It's gotten to this point because God has truly been using me, and because I've been trusting in Him with all my insecurities. I just hope that i can continue to put everything into His hands, because I cant do this alone. Looking back on how down I was about me falling apart or whatever, I just think to myself, "wow, im a babo. God is good."
I don't think we can ever say it enough.
God is good. Praise God.
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