moving in!

so i moved into my new apartment yesterday, Silvers Apts, I brought in everything i needed. im alone here till saturday so the entire place (besides my own room) looks so cold and uninhabited like a dark cave...it basically felt like a dementor took a dump in my bathroom and didnt flush. so i decided to go to walmart and make the place a little more "homey"

now first and foremost, im a dude. i dont know anything about making a place homey, and no girl is helping me. if i were 21 i probably would have bought a keg of heinekin beer for decoration and a plastic playground slide. but i dont drink beer anymore and a plastic slide sounds expensive so i just settled for 2 bathroom rugs, doormat and another toothbrush even tho i dont need it. i might need it. incase i lose my old one? (wow there was absolutely no reason for me to buy that tooth brush)

and then i thought, hey, im living in an apartment, i need to do some grocery shopping now right? so i went over to the food section of walmart to take a look. after walking up and down the aisles and some long thinking, i grabbed my essentials:

- a box of white cheddar cheez its

- box of crunch 'n munch buttery toffee popcorn

- orange juice

good enough right? for grocery shopping?

aaaand i missed a meeting and almost got fired. busted out the ol' "in all honesty, it was my mistake, i neglected to read the meeting notice carefully and missed it. it was my mistake and i regret not paying careful attention to the paper. i DO want to continue working here because i love this place [student center]." 

money.

still employed baby. 

praise God.

God is Good

so true.

(im so tired right now, so this may sound like terrible english and random ideas organized in terrible manner, forgive me, im somewhat delrious. but i am surprised at how much i am writing.)

since missions, God has made me see so much more of His blessings, and i'v learned to count on Him so much. Like, previous to missions, i saw His blessings every day as well. like for example, i would skip out on so much potential study time the day before an exam and go to church instead, and then the exam would be pushed back to the week later. stuff like that i would sit back and be like "dang son, God is good. "

but after missions, it was different for me in the sense that I would see God working in my life and i would think "dang son, God is good. look at me, who am i? im just one dude in a world with billions of people, im so sinful, but God still chooses to bless me. How is it that He's so unconditionally loving? How is it that He's so faithful, so everlasting, and ALWAYS there. What the heck, I dont deserve this, but still He's so good to me." 

i think being humbled so bad in thailand as well as seeing prayer work so realistically has begun to make me look at God's works in a different light. i want to share some of the blessings God has endowed me with-

- upon coming back from korea, after experiencing so much and having so much fun, i had to come home to the middle of nowhere, the boondocks if you will. this is where i know no one, and i live too far for anyone to drive down to visit me. post missions stress was putting me down so i prayed to God, that i wont get sucked into this loneliness. bam. that following week people drive down all the way from bergen (while getting 2 hours out of the way lost) to pick me up and go to the beach, philly, and later six flags. Praise God

- even something small: the day at the beach, the forecast was thunderstorms. obviously this is not choice weather for a trip to seaside heights. but some of us really prayed for it, and lifted up the day to God in christian fellowship, and we ended up having amazing weather (after a brief heavy downpour which turned out to be a chance for a lot of fun). Praise God

- Even just the people i've met over the summer, i feel so blessed with having met them. I wanted to go on missions partly to meet kccc people outside of rutgers, and God has definitely come through. even after missions i was able to hang out with them and keep up these new friendships. just getting to know them personally and spending time with them has become such a huge blessing and i wouldnt give up any of the good times we've shared since missions for anything. (this is the kind of things i think back and smile about. cause i realize now that fellowship in His name, sober and doing random things is SO MUCH MORE SWEETER than getting drunk and going to parties) like i said. i wouldnt trade any of these things for my past life as a freshman and beginning of sophomore in college. 

one last thing i want to just throw up there because the header for my blog spot is "basically whats going on in my head" is just how awesome God is in my life recently recently. These days im struggling with something that has become such an amazing blessing in my life, but having some personal trouble with it. And it's difficult, because impulsively I want to do one thing, but my mind is going "hey thats a bad idea right now" and its really a struggle for me. However, Good is good, no? I really love spending time in the Word and prayer, because yo, no joke, for those of you that dont know or isnt sure, God listens and God answers. I love it when you offer up a prayer, and then you read the bible and you see that one set of verses that completely applies to what you're going through or having trouble with. cause LITERALLY it is like God speaking to you, giving you the perfect answer to give you encouragement and strength-

-- it just makes me stop and think: are you serious? me, one random sinful kid in a world of other people, receiving an answer directly from big guns upstairs? listening to me and hooking me up with a can of whoop-ass wisdom? its kinda ridicalus --

hey for all you kccc heads, go to geth. sometimes i dont get a chance to completely pray because im at home, in bed and about to sleep so i pass out, and my prayers become weaksauce. but having something like gethsemane to settle you back down and put you in prayer atmosphere is one of the most helpful things ever. 

pray son. you gotta. 

hmm...what can i come up with as i write..

ok lets start with this freaking cough. 

ever since...little after six flags...so id say wednesday? (a week ago) ive had this freak cough that would randomly harass my calm composure and interrupt casual and intense conversation alike. iv just been getting owned by this cough. and its weird because i dont have a fever, i dont feel weak, i dont get headaches, and i dont have a sore throat. im in tip top shape but this cough is just raping me at will and wont go away. my only theory is that voldemort put a spell on me or something. ownus coughus foreverus (that sounded a lot more clever in my head but not anymore now that i can see it.) 

ok now that i got some nonsense out of the way, i was able to figure out something to write about. Ok considering I didnt write in this after missions, ill just do the quickest recap in the world, and it wont do justice to the blessings that iv received from half the summer. 

--> met the team, wasnt too excited about them to be honest, but went to thailand with them,

--> got freaking owned with the flu for 2 weeks cause i asked God to keep me humble, didnt get any prc's, felt really worthless, teammates helped me out, fell in love with my team

--> then went to jeju, God just blessed the crap out of me by letting me perform in front of a billion people at the conference with By God's Grace (and it was literally by God's grace), met mad awesome people from nykccc at jeju, 

--> went to english camp, hated the kids, loved the kids later, prayed in a volcano crater (it erupted too so we had to get out of there on a magic carpet we found inside that helped us out),

--> went to seoul, hung out with st johns and nyu kids, started hating on st johns (lol), started enjoying nyu, had a freaking blast in seoul, watched several scary movies in consecutive days, learned to be afraid of gwishins, 

--> came back, was sad that i was in the boondocks, went to beach, had so much more fun than expected, 

--> went to philly, ate moroccan food that made me bangoo with reckless abandon, 

--> went to six flags, el toro beats kingda ka and dont ever ride dark knight because you will be upset, 

--> and with geth every week.... 

thats basically my summary of the best summer of my life, i can confidently say. 

and after all that, i think the main thing I got out of all of that is God is Good. there is not a truer statement. (this one's getting real long so ima cut it and continue on a different entry)