(im so tired right now, so this may sound like terrible english and random ideas organized in terrible manner, forgive me, im somewhat delrious. but i am surprised at how much i am writing.)
since missions, God has made me see so much more of His blessings, and i'v learned to count on Him so much. Like, previous to missions, i saw His blessings every day as well. like for example, i would skip out on so much potential study time the day before an exam and go to church instead, and then the exam would be pushed back to the week later. stuff like that i would sit back and be like "dang son, God is good. "
but after missions, it was different for me in the sense that I would see God working in my life and i would think "dang son, God is good. look at me, who am i? im just one dude in a world with billions of people, im so sinful, but God still chooses to bless me. How is it that He's so unconditionally loving? How is it that He's so faithful, so everlasting, and ALWAYS there. What the heck, I dont deserve this, but still He's so good to me."
i think being humbled so bad in thailand as well as seeing prayer work so realistically has begun to make me look at God's works in a different light. i want to share some of the blessings God has endowed me with-
- upon coming back from korea, after experiencing so much and having so much fun, i had to come home to the middle of nowhere, the boondocks if you will. this is where i know no one, and i live too far for anyone to drive down to visit me. post missions stress was putting me down so i prayed to God, that i wont get sucked into this loneliness. bam. that following week people drive down all the way from bergen (while getting 2 hours out of the way lost) to pick me up and go to the beach, philly, and later six flags. Praise God
- even something small: the day at the beach, the forecast was thunderstorms. obviously this is not choice weather for a trip to seaside heights. but some of us really prayed for it, and lifted up the day to God in christian fellowship, and we ended up having amazing weather (after a brief heavy downpour which turned out to be a chance for a lot of fun). Praise God
- Even just the people i've met over the summer, i feel so blessed with having met them. I wanted to go on missions partly to meet kccc people outside of rutgers, and God has definitely come through. even after missions i was able to hang out with them and keep up these new friendships. just getting to know them personally and spending time with them has become such a huge blessing and i wouldnt give up any of the good times we've shared since missions for anything. (this is the kind of things i think back and smile about. cause i realize now that fellowship in His name, sober and doing random things is SO MUCH MORE SWEETER than getting drunk and going to parties) like i said. i wouldnt trade any of these things for my past life as a freshman and beginning of sophomore in college.
one last thing i want to just throw up there because the header for my blog spot is "basically whats going on in my head" is just how awesome God is in my life recently recently. These days im struggling with something that has become such an amazing blessing in my life, but having some personal trouble with it. And it's difficult, because impulsively I want to do one thing, but my mind is going "hey thats a bad idea right now" and its really a struggle for me. However, Good is good, no? I really love spending time in the Word and prayer, because yo, no joke, for those of you that dont know or isnt sure, God listens and God answers. I love it when you offer up a prayer, and then you read the bible and you see that one set of verses that completely applies to what you're going through or having trouble with. cause LITERALLY it is like God speaking to you, giving you the perfect answer to give you encouragement and strength-
-- it just makes me stop and think: are you serious? me, one random sinful kid in a world of other people, receiving an answer directly from big guns upstairs? listening to me and hooking me up with a can of whoop-ass wisdom? its kinda ridicalus --
hey for all you kccc heads, go to geth. sometimes i dont get a chance to completely pray because im at home, in bed and about to sleep so i pass out, and my prayers become weaksauce. but having something like gethsemane to settle you back down and put you in prayer atmosphere is one of the most helpful things ever.
pray son. you gotta.
