Colossians 1:24

I now rejoice in my sufferings,
for you and fill up in my flesh
what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ,
for the sake of His body,
which is the church.

yeah...that basically sums it up for me.

Praise Report! Long...praise report....

Last night, i wrote a blog about how i feel like i'm falling apart or whatever. But that's because I was being ignant and stupid. How can i be feeling so down when God has blessed me so incredibly? Like, if you really think about it, the extent to which God has blesses us is straight up redikalus. But praise God, righ righ? lol

01.
Ok, so recently, it was my birthday. I expected a birthday party, to be honest, but i really didnt know when to expect it. Sunday night, I'm in my room, stressed about the amount of garbage that has built up in our kitchen, and fruit flies everywhere. Then my roommate andrew suggests that we go downstairs to go play Madden at Jongdae's place. Ok fine, I go down, and then all of a sudden, as I open the door, this is what happens:

Haha, this is my "I'm mad mushissuh" face. Freaking, as soon as I open the door, lights go on and people are screaming at me haha. That was freaking sweet, mad people were there to wish me a happy birthday, and I felt pretty special, not gonna lie lol



02.
The two things I stress the most and find the most joy in serving KCCC is small group leader and body worship leader. And my birthday rested on a monday, which is when I have small group. My entire mentality was *sigh*, i have to prepare for small group on my birthday- so i neglected to do cru.comm prepartion. Instead I ended up just preparing some discussion topics, and then prepared a spiel of my experience at Vision. When 9:30 pm rolled around, my kids arrived, and as I came out to the livingroom to start small group, there was all my little shekkis, sitting there with a ice cream cake and card. :D I was like, Daaang son. God is so good. <<<<<<<

03.
THEN on Tuesday night, we had body worship practice from 6 to 9 to perform at a interfellowship night. I have a lot of joy in leading bodyworship- my group is reallly good and cooperative, and I feel mad blessed to have them. But at the same time i was still burdened, with other thoughts distracting me, and the stress of my academic difficulties. I really tried to keep the joy in serving, but I was still struggling. I didnt even do my qt for awhile. But right before we started practice, some of the members of my small group presented me with a card and birthday present. :D again, i was like, Daaang son, God is sooo good.<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I'v only been small group leader since mid semptember, and I'v only had my small group since mid september, but still I guess i'v developed a relationship with my small group and body worship members; two fields of serving that I was really anxious about in the beginning of the year. But now I see that trust in God is all I really need. My small group doesnt like me because I'm such a cool guy; my body worship team doesnt like me because I'm so good at dancing. It's gotten to this point because God has truly been using me, and because I've been trusting in Him with all my insecurities. I just hope that i can continue to put everything into His hands, because I cant do this alone. Looking back on how down I was about me falling apart or whatever, I just think to myself, "wow, im a babo. God is good."


I don't think we can ever say it enough.

God is good. Praise God.

Yess I feel better. Thank you QT

Yo QT is soo good! what the heck lol

As I was reading the Word last night, I started to get bored again. "I'm not going to get anything ouf ot this again. I'm totally reading the same thing over and over." But that happens, and then I read more, and of course God just shows me what He wants to show me. As I read Psalms 103, it was all about how God is good, just, and compassionate. It talks about how God saved His Israelites from Egypt; the Bible even says "As a father has compassion on His children,..." Yo, thats mad compassion. Not even like a Higher-Power-and-His-Creations type relationship, but the extent of our God's compassion is not unlike a father's compassion for his children. Not only that, but as I read on in chapter 105, I found even more reassurance. What chapter 105 states can be summed up in verse 4: "Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always." God's strength is absolute. Like, are you serious? Yo, God speaks and locusts show up and own Egypt. He thinks it and the Nile River is turned into blood, and strikes down the first born of every household, like nothing. God split the damn Red Sea for people to cross, son! Thats insane, if you really think about it.

This was just the encouragement I needed. God's compassion is everlasting, more that we could ever fathom. Not only that, but God's strength is beyond understanding; what He wills, happens. Straight up. All things considered, how can I not entrust in Him all my woes and burdens? Psalms 68:19 says "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." It even says it in the Bible, straight up. If I think of God's strength, His compassion, His mercy, how can I not entrust in Him all my troubles? My academics, my health, my mom's health and well-being, as well as anything else that I'm struggling with. He is the God of Everlasting, ever trust-worthy, ever loving, ever just...I could go on, and on, but in three words: God is Good!

So why worry? Put a smile on. :]

Huh. Home Sweet Home?

At first i was surprised. Then i was bitter. then i was ashamed. Now i feel gooood.

surprised.
i get a phone call, mom has to get surgery. That means i cant go to sports day, or gethsemane for the next 6-7 weeks. then i became...

bitter.
i met all these nyu, st johns, fit people over missions, got to know some of them- iv been looking forward to this since we lost last year! but ENGGG denied. now i cant jump in john lim's face after i block his spike. or knock down eric cha and reclaim my spot as chicken fight champion. haha, but that quickly passed, and then i felt, you guessed it,

ashamed.
are you seroius? am i really thinking about competition and fellowship with friends when my mom needs me? 내가 아들 이야? 완전 실망이였어. Of course i'll go home every weekend to help out. and i'll definitely do it with a happy and prayerful heart.

goood.
i'm usually not a fan of going home. i love school too much. the independence. the 'do whatever the hell i want' atmosphere. i love it. living with roommates, meeting friends late at night, random white-castle runs, etc. coming home, im confined in my house, plus its the shigol. plus i dont drive. but while i was waiting for the train home, i called my mom to tell her i was on my way. the following broke my heart.

- 엄아, 나 기차 기다리고 있어.
- o ok! 밥 먹었니?
- ...no. actually i didnt get a chance to yet.
- 아! 오캐이- 엄아가 밥줌비 해놀깨

sounds like nothing, but i suddenly got mad emotional. when i'm at school, sometimes i skip meals. simply because i dont have time to prepare stuff for myself, or theres no food, or because take out is closed. so that means i either skip, eat cheezits for meal, or order food. usually i have a box of cheezits, and usually i have no money. so if i dont eat, i eat cheezits and tolberone chocholate (cause one of my roommates bought me a huge freaking tolberone). and when my mom said she'd prepare something right away because i was hungry, i suddenly remembered what "mom" is. what "family" is. hit me like the last scene of Tae Geuk Gi.

for the first time in awhile i can say,
Home Sweet Home.

Eprops for King David

Why hello there!

Ok so anyway,
For me, when i do QT's these days, im reading Psalms. And Psalms is sweet, like, I love it. Theres mad verses that help me with my personal struggles, and it's really been helping me alot recently. Seriously, i would recommend it to anyone, and i know it'll help you. But theres two things i dont like about Psalms.

01) It's long. 150 chapters: i do 5 a day and its still gonna take me 30 days, which is a month. long time
and
02) I dont like King David. i think he's a wuss.

Now I know some of you are saying "How can you not like him, he owned the philistine Goliath. thats so badass." or "What? I love reading David and his struggles and how you can see God answering his prayers!" Ok, he was a great, God fearing man. But i felt like his faith was so fickle. For example, One chapter, he'd be using eloquent words and poetry to talk about how good God is, and hey, I have no beef with that. If i were vocabularily gifted, i'd praise God like that too. I dont even think "vocabularily" is even a word. thats how bad i am with words. but yeah, no beef with David on that one. But then in the very next chapter, David would be complaining that God forgot about him in his struggles with people trying to kill him. Like, i know King David trusts God with all his heart, but why does he give up hope so quickly, jumping to the conclusion that God forsook him (again, probably not a real word. but think past present of forsake). And then when God answered david's prayers and saves him from his pursuers, all of a sudden David forgets that he's been crying about God forsaking him and holding out on His deliverance and praises God with body and song all day long. And this was a repeated cycle througout the entire first book of Psalms. All these things considered, I didnt think too highly of King David. I thought of him as a little kid.

*GASP*
Joe, how can you say all these things?

HOWEVER, today, for the first time since i started doing my own QT, i read the Word looking at the context. More-so than the actual verses. Usually I would search for verses themselves, to find something that i can relate to, or can individually give me the encouragement and strength that i needed at that moment. But taking a look at the bigger picture was different. Today, by the end of my qt, i hadn't highlighted anything in the bible. But at the same time, it gave me a WHOLE NEW perspective of the main message. And this is what i realized:

I'm no different from King David.

I love God with all my heart. I praise Him whenever i get a chance. (im not trying to say im an awesome christian, dont misinterpret- but anyway) When i am in trouble, I pray to God to save me. And who else is there to turn to right? And He does; God always pulls through. So far, sounds like King David right? alright, but now what happens to me when I face my deepest struggles? My struggles with selfish desire, my "onlys," the temporary idols that i create in my life, etc. I trust in God, and praise Him when things go well, but when these things pop up, what then? When s*** hits the fan, I bug out. I get bitter, listen to non-praise music, not want to do anything, and worst of all, I question if God is still where i can put all my trust. not word for word, but i say something along the lines of "Have you forsaken me?" But then God shakes me out of my ignorance, He hears my prayers, and shows me reassurance, through whatever, to show me that I was dumb to question my trust in Him. Repeat cycle.

All the things I had beef with in David's actions, I found in myself.

How fickle we are, as humans? Yeah, man is so sinful. All we have, ultimately, is God. But when it seems to go against our deepest, selfish desires, we get bitter. Lord, forgive me; forgive us. We are too fickle, and we turn away from you, but God you are so good, you dont give up on us, and you show us the reassurance we always need. God is good. I just need strength, trust, and patience.

WHOM HAVE I IN HEAVEN BUT YOU? AND EARTH HAS NOTHING I DESIRE BESIDES YOU. (Psalms 73:25).

Macaroni Grill!

note: for those of you familiar with hyemyung's blog, this is going to bear some resemblance to her blog. you'll see what i mean...

Alright so after an eventful weekend in the city, I stopped by a little place called Macaron Cafe on ...thirty something street, between broadway and 7th? does that make sense? is there 6th ave between broadway and 7th? i dunno, i can get there, i dont really know where it is. basically this blog is useless if you're inspired to go check out the place haha

but previously, i saw pictures and mini reviews of a mystery french pastry called "Macarons" from grace and hyemyung's blogs/facebook, and i was somewhat intrigued. the pictures made it look like colorful marshmallows, and marshmallows are mad delicious, so naturally id want to eat it. righ righ? makes sense, i think. simple thinking haha

but after reading someone's food blogs for some time, i think i learned to appreciate food more. cause usaually id just eat it, and if it tastes good, then i'll like it, thats it. but i'v been kinda taking note of food that im eating, jokkom more appreciative.

so here goes:

The French Macaron. I feel better about the authenticity of this place's pastries because the workers are french lol. but for 1.75, you can get 1 macaron, a choice of maaad different flavors, like strawberry or creme brulee (shown on the right), chocholate, jasmine tea, rose something, lychee, expresso...and id ont remember any more haha.

basically, the macaron is a sweet french dessert pastry. if you look at it, "it looks like a hamburger." but unlike a big burger, the macaron is about the size of the bottom of a soda can. kinda miniscule, but regardless of the size, i think you'll be satisfied. Instead of a bun, you have this, somewhat crisp, somewhat crunchy, hard shell, pretty sweet with the flavor of your choice. and instead of lettuce, tomato, sauce, you have this dense bread part, and its really soft. its almost like jelly bean texture status, but it doesnt get stuck in your teeth. but like a jelly bean, it doesnt crumble or fall apart. finally, instead of your hamburger beef patty, we have a custard-like creme filling. Soft, creamy, and not neukki hae at all.

Over all, like the shake shack burger, which someone introduced to me and i thought it was the best friggen cheese burger iv ever had, i think this is one of my favorite desserts. (my top choice being korean bbang) like, someone mentioned that this was a feminine treat, and even tho admittedly its not really manly (it is a french dessert after all), im not ashamed to say its pretty damn delectable. if you have like 10, you'll probably get tired of it, but like 1 or 2 with a glass of ice cold milk would be maaad ideal. i had milk at home, but my macarons were getting crushed by other people on the train so i ate them on the ride home from the city. but not before taking mental notes about how good these were haha

go to this place. its mad small and really hidden i feel like, but Cafe Macaron. not to be confused with Cafe Morroccan, or Macaroni Grill.

Do Your QT's!

I can honestly say, throughout almost every day, or maybe every other day, i deal with some sort or amount of crap. Some kinda struggle, be it major or minor. And whatever it is, it'll bother me a little, throughout the day. or maybe it'll affect me to the point where it affects me all day. i mean who knows, right? every day is different, i dont know how much shit im going to deal with.

but every day, i have QT to turn to. And when I read the Word, almost every time, i read what i need. God somehow makes it that whatever shit is bothering me that day, that i'll read about whats wrong with my attitude, or showing me a bigger picture or something. And when i read the Word, i just get an overwhelming sense of humbling or reassurance. i honestly don't know how i lived my life without doing daily QT.

and when i get blessed through QT, theres one song that i feel like is so fitting, and hits home for me. David Crowder Band's "Thank you for hearing me"

Thank you for saving me (4x)
Praise the Lord, O my soul, Praise the Lord

(Thank you for saving me...
Thank you for loving me...
Thank you for finding me...
Thank you for hearing me...)

Pulled Apart

I legitimately feel like God is pulling me in like 8 different ways. like KRIPP
God is the potter and I'm the clay right? He's stretching me, and it's getting harder and harder to not fall apart. If i can endure, then in the end I feel like I really would grow immensely. however if i break, its just going to suck that much harder. Lets see, what do i have.

ok, we have my small group, to invest my time and heart. and then for me, to become a good soonjang, and be there for my kids, guide them when they need to turn to God. ok, what else, we have my mom's health in question, thats probably not gonna be a sweet experience. Thats the day before KCCC Sports Day: i just met mad kccc kids from other campuses, and compete with others in fellowship, but i cant go. Fine, thats absolutely fine, i can live with that: my mom needs me to be there for her, i can miss sports day: family comes first, I have no struggle or bitterness towards it. also i'm still struggling with something else that God is still giving me strength in. plus im still sick from like what, august 20th or something? what is it now, october 7th. oh and theres body worship.

body worship is going to be awesome to lead, I love doing body worship. but i havent led body worship before. body worship choreo doesnt come to me, my creation skills are lacking in that- i'v only learned body worship, iv never tried teaching it to others. theres only one thing that is holding me back: i have a huge feeling that im so inadequate, incompetent. How am i going to lead this group of kids that want to praise God if i dont think i can be the shepherd to guide them? Like, today at large group i saw my name in the bulletin under "committees"- Body Worship - Joe Yoo. and i remember kinda just sinking into my seat

At today's large group, Jihye Gnz said in her message, that we have to pray, and thru prayer, trust in God. Frankly speaking, I believe god has entrusted this body worship leader position into my hand because He thinks I can do it. And if god thinks something, it's definitely gonna happen, or it's the truth, one or the other. If i cant do it myself, God is going to make it happen through me. tomorrow is the first meeting, and Im just going to lift up my trust in Him.

Psalms 57:7 says "My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music."

so basically, even though im going through all this crap, im struggling with all these things, i will remain steadfast in You, God. And I can praise you, because of the trust that I commit to You. (dang, mad props to king david huh. he gets chased by all these people that want to kill him, his own stepsons want to kill him for his throne, but he trusts in God and has the joy to sing and praise God even more.)

O Lord, give me strength.