Stubborn Self Will equals Uh-Oh for Joe

For the record, this is for my own self reflection cause no one reads this haha

First off, I want to say that God is good. There is no truer statement. He has blessed me so much in recent, that I'm just so humbled and I feel incredibly blessed. What did i do to deserve all these blessings, when im such a sinner? sure i serve at kccc, sure i attend church every sunday, do qt, go to geth, but in the end, at the core, i'm a sinful human being. Yet, He sent Jesus to die for me, and He loves me unconditionally. It's almost too good to be true. but thats God i guess. Its like i'm a guhji and i kill some dude for his money, but then his mom brings me into her house and clothes and feeds me. It doesnt make any sense, and all i can do is praise God and devote my life to Him.

with that said, i want to mention that God has just blessed me in particular that has affected me these days. But I think that my impatience is turning that blessing into my own self desire. I KNOW for a fact that I need to chill out, but like, its mad difficult. I need to focus on being a good soonjang and bodyworship leader first and foremost, because that's God's will for me. That much is painstakingly obvious to me. then why do I feel like such a noob? Why can't I submit to God's will with other things? I'm just a punkass human, about to get owned by God for not yielding to His will. ...which is definitely the last thing i want. 

i know for certain, that if i dont do this the way God has planned for me, it'll end bad. it's just going to end bad without God's thumbs up. and what i want more than anything is God's thumbs up. because then i know for sure it'll be good. Obviously I dont want to get owned by God. My prayer request is patience. patience, patience, patience.

as elvis presley once said, only fools rush in.

Let Go and Let God.